Every since i started sitting at a desk from 9-5 there has been a little more of me to love. I never really got around to doing much about it. However since my arrival in Shanghai a few things exasperated the problem. Cans of coke being 50c. Magnum Ice creams being 70c. and a whole plethora of new flavors of potato crisps to discover. That with an esky friendly cricket team and I well and truly was up the creek and too fat to reach the paddle.
However, enter from stage right a few full length mirrors in my apt which don't lie plus and an impending wedding day. and viola you have motivation.
Now I have been on a few health kicks in my time. The most famous of which would have been my apple and oat bag diet of 2002. This is when you nourish yourself by buying bulk 2g bags of green apples and Alison Holt's Oat muesli from the New World bulk bin. So whenever you wanna snack you head for the Dr repealer's or dish your hand in the oat bag. This does at the face of it sound like a diet more suitable for Donkey's at petting Zoo's but anyhow. Adding this to a whole heap of running gets you in great shape and obviously keeps you very regular. My friend Ben had great success on this after I convinced him of the merits.
Currently I am running a fair bit which is going well. I have now stuck to doing laps of a track near my house. no people and the smell is consistent for the whole run. Which I now regard as paramount for optimal running. Nothing was worse than running the pavements and finding yourself short of breath at the 40m mark deeply panting. And just at the moment you inhale you pass the scent of someone steaming congealed tortoise vomit on the exhaust pipe of a parked bus. So the track is just far more reliable. Although I am convinced running clock-wise for 30 miles a week will give me massive left peg muscles.
I got my first looking trim comment the other day which usually is the point I say to myself job done and go straight for the pie warmer. But for now my eye is on the greater prize.
I have noticed some marked personal improvements though. mainly I have been reacquainted with a few shirts down the far end of my wardrobe. The buttons were previously gripping on for dear life but now are far more relaxed in their daily duties.
Also it must be said I am fetching far less lint from my belly button.
That thing used to be slightly too deeper abyss than most stray threads could recover from. I was thinking of installing one of those fish net jobs they use in the dryers. Even thought about going head to head with the flat dryer over a month.
Had I actually won I am sure I could have sold the patent as a clinically approved medical test for obesity. who needs the Body Mass Index telling you the Pavlova's are catching up when you can catch enough lint in your puku cup to satisfy a dust buster.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Electile Disfuntion
Now when sports goes bad the next best thing you can do is blame the Government. So here I go.
The Election is on soon. I have my voting papers and I'm set to cast something a little bit special this time around. To be fair I have not been able to follow this election that closely. What is about to happen here is that I am about to digress into a massive diatribe for which you all be left slightly dumber for having read, but that won't stop you now will it :-)
Anyone who fervently seeks out political knowledge will school me at the end of this post. But this is how I see it. It is a bit stink that politics has to get so far beyond the common man. It is so hard to figure out what the actual issue is to be able to form an opinion. But I do like exercising the ability to have an opinion.
New Zealand politics in recent years has just become a bit of a waste of time. Why do we need so many politicians? There is the side who won plus a couple of annoying drunken uncles tag alongs who piss and moan from the cheap seats. But, as soon as the music comes on at the wedding out they come and into their own with the caterpillar or electric slide. And suddenly the have the attention and votes of all in sundry.
Any system that suddenly gives the party that only 5% of the country supports gets more power than the team that came second with 40% is bit unrepresentative. How many crazy weird bills have the boys on left been able to pass in the last 9 years? In the words of scribe "not many if any". But it seems those sneaky Greens with the compulsory support of Aunty Helen get to a few dictate terms. That just doesn't seem right.
Why have 120 people in parliament? when even on the conscious votes, people support their own team. so effectively you only have a ya and nah. So why not just have two people in parliament that would be way cheaper. The party that wins gets to be called ya and the other party that the nah. Much easier for madam speaker to control as well. She has a a tough sandpit to control at the moment with all those Tonka Wielding teething memebers booing and hissing.
What is also baffling me at the moment is National looked like they were a shoe in and now Labour has made a come back. They were sure to be gone for stuffing up the housing market and blowing out our economy but just in the nick of time the whole world blows out too, so it doesn't seem like its their fault. Talk about a lucky break.
The only thing that seems to have swayed the vote was this student allowance re formulating. I benefited greatly from the current scheme. Turning 18 during my 7th form year I was able to collect $80 a week to help further my tertiary studies. I am sure you can read through the details on www.loophole.com. The last election Labour manged to squeeze by with their interest free student loans. Nice dangling of a juicy carrot there I must admit.
But yet again not actually offering policies to make a difference to the things that need the cash. I am sure people were more concerned about the NZ healthcare being there for them when there immune system had given up the ghost rather than getting a break on the student debt.
Common major debt owner - I realize now that taking out all my course related costs to go snowboarding trips and fueling my binge drinking was a bad idea. Can you hook a brother up? Yet again people not owning up to the consequences of their decisions and then getting rewarded.
In saying that do make fees cheaper for flipping doctors and teachers and other essential skills. Why create barriers in these areas? Rather than this new policy which just encourages everyone to get a degree in whatever. Surely giving just about everyone an allowance and free loan money will encourage more people to get a BA in English or Art History. Which is about as useful as granting voting rights to turnips.
Its also a bit weird that the whole thing is a not more issue by issue. Given the digital age we are living in. you could pretty much muster up a referendum every month on the key issues. and then actually have the whole county vote online. I know this cuts down on the tea ladies and cucumber and asparagus club sandwhiches, which I will be sad to see go. Then we can just cut out the middle men and people get their vote on. And you have can easily tell what percentage of each demograpcic, sociographic, holographic, racialographic has voted to ensure that its not getting completely swung out my people with more spare time or access to the web. easy peasy.
I should wrap this up because i will go on forever. For New Zealand to survive it needs to start making some cash. When we have more money coming in from our exports then all of a sudden we don't have to sit around holding hands hoping for the best but we can start to raise the expectations bar on our public services. Due to our blatant insignificance on the world scale we need to get our selves cranking in business, retain our best people because we can pay them properly and fill the govt coffers with taxes from new revenue streams. Rather than the current train of thought which is more along the lines of milking the citizens when the pay goes in, when they spend it and on every cent of the interest on the money they don't spend.
I guess this all makes me a little bit right wing. But really it comes down to the fact that I'm just a bit over Helen Clarke. and so for the moment I batting to get her constantly snarky arse out. but I don't want to be left on everything for the next four years. Besides, If she gets in for another term then she will make it to ten years at the helm of New Zealand which means she will probably make a commemorative CD. and more likely than not TV One will play a 5 minute visual tribute to Helen Clarke. Which as you can imagine will be 5 minutes of her 'smiling' to the backing of I see Red by the Split Endz.
Isn't free speech great. probably should only be granted to those with an understanding of what is going on but anyhow. If I was Chinese writing this about my own prez I would actually be killed tomorrow or put though a 're education program'. So I count myself lucky.
Personally I would love to vote for someone that was going to help preserve the nearly not existent moral fabric of NZ. someone that actually helped build community again and helped families to be families.Help parents who are battling to connect to their kids or themselves. Nzer's should always have somewhere to go when they need a hug and it shouldn't be in the form a legalized prostitute.
Unfortunately this party no longer exists as we are forced to choose the best from the worst because when they aren't pissing in corridors they are trying to hit each other in them.
When did charisma, personality, banter and being a NZ'der leave the beehive?
The Election is on soon. I have my voting papers and I'm set to cast something a little bit special this time around. To be fair I have not been able to follow this election that closely. What is about to happen here is that I am about to digress into a massive diatribe for which you all be left slightly dumber for having read, but that won't stop you now will it :-)
Anyone who fervently seeks out political knowledge will school me at the end of this post. But this is how I see it. It is a bit stink that politics has to get so far beyond the common man. It is so hard to figure out what the actual issue is to be able to form an opinion. But I do like exercising the ability to have an opinion.
New Zealand politics in recent years has just become a bit of a waste of time. Why do we need so many politicians? There is the side who won plus a couple of annoying drunken uncles tag alongs who piss and moan from the cheap seats. But, as soon as the music comes on at the wedding out they come and into their own with the caterpillar or electric slide. And suddenly the have the attention and votes of all in sundry.
Any system that suddenly gives the party that only 5% of the country supports gets more power than the team that came second with 40% is bit unrepresentative. How many crazy weird bills have the boys on left been able to pass in the last 9 years? In the words of scribe "not many if any". But it seems those sneaky Greens with the compulsory support of Aunty Helen get to a few dictate terms. That just doesn't seem right.
Why have 120 people in parliament? when even on the conscious votes, people support their own team. so effectively you only have a ya and nah. So why not just have two people in parliament that would be way cheaper. The party that wins gets to be called ya and the other party that the nah. Much easier for madam speaker to control as well. She has a a tough sandpit to control at the moment with all those Tonka Wielding teething memebers booing and hissing.
What is also baffling me at the moment is National looked like they were a shoe in and now Labour has made a come back. They were sure to be gone for stuffing up the housing market and blowing out our economy but just in the nick of time the whole world blows out too, so it doesn't seem like its their fault. Talk about a lucky break.
The only thing that seems to have swayed the vote was this student allowance re formulating. I benefited greatly from the current scheme. Turning 18 during my 7th form year I was able to collect $80 a week to help further my tertiary studies. I am sure you can read through the details on www.loophole.com. The last election Labour manged to squeeze by with their interest free student loans. Nice dangling of a juicy carrot there I must admit.
But yet again not actually offering policies to make a difference to the things that need the cash. I am sure people were more concerned about the NZ healthcare being there for them when there immune system had given up the ghost rather than getting a break on the student debt.
Common major debt owner - I realize now that taking out all my course related costs to go snowboarding trips and fueling my binge drinking was a bad idea. Can you hook a brother up? Yet again people not owning up to the consequences of their decisions and then getting rewarded.
In saying that do make fees cheaper for flipping doctors and teachers and other essential skills. Why create barriers in these areas? Rather than this new policy which just encourages everyone to get a degree in whatever. Surely giving just about everyone an allowance and free loan money will encourage more people to get a BA in English or Art History. Which is about as useful as granting voting rights to turnips.
Its also a bit weird that the whole thing is a not more issue by issue. Given the digital age we are living in. you could pretty much muster up a referendum every month on the key issues. and then actually have the whole county vote online. I know this cuts down on the tea ladies and cucumber and asparagus club sandwhiches, which I will be sad to see go. Then we can just cut out the middle men and people get their vote on. And you have can easily tell what percentage of each demograpcic, sociographic, holographic, racialographic has voted to ensure that its not getting completely swung out my people with more spare time or access to the web. easy peasy.
I should wrap this up because i will go on forever. For New Zealand to survive it needs to start making some cash. When we have more money coming in from our exports then all of a sudden we don't have to sit around holding hands hoping for the best but we can start to raise the expectations bar on our public services. Due to our blatant insignificance on the world scale we need to get our selves cranking in business, retain our best people because we can pay them properly and fill the govt coffers with taxes from new revenue streams. Rather than the current train of thought which is more along the lines of milking the citizens when the pay goes in, when they spend it and on every cent of the interest on the money they don't spend.
I guess this all makes me a little bit right wing. But really it comes down to the fact that I'm just a bit over Helen Clarke. and so for the moment I batting to get her constantly snarky arse out. but I don't want to be left on everything for the next four years. Besides, If she gets in for another term then she will make it to ten years at the helm of New Zealand which means she will probably make a commemorative CD. and more likely than not TV One will play a 5 minute visual tribute to Helen Clarke. Which as you can imagine will be 5 minutes of her 'smiling' to the backing of I see Red by the Split Endz.
Isn't free speech great. probably should only be granted to those with an understanding of what is going on but anyhow. If I was Chinese writing this about my own prez I would actually be killed tomorrow or put though a 're education program'. So I count myself lucky.
Personally I would love to vote for someone that was going to help preserve the nearly not existent moral fabric of NZ. someone that actually helped build community again and helped families to be families.Help parents who are battling to connect to their kids or themselves. Nzer's should always have somewhere to go when they need a hug and it shouldn't be in the form a legalized prostitute.
Unfortunately this party no longer exists as we are forced to choose the best from the worst because when they aren't pissing in corridors they are trying to hit each other in them.
When did charisma, personality, banter and being a NZ'der leave the beehive?
Friday, October 17, 2008
My Rugby team, I love them. I love them not
Blimmin Wellington Lions. For some reason I am passionate supporter of Wellington in every sport. Most people stopped caring about the provincial rugby a long time ago. But for me it is still a good time. After all I was standing on the terraces when the Lions won the NPC final in Christchurch in 2000. which will go down as one of my most treasured live sports moments. So how do you go from this to losing about 5 finals in the last 7 years. If Disney were to write a script about Wellington Rugby they would be hard pressed to find a positive angle. My only thoughts are its a revenge of the nerds type saga where they find some ingenious ways to battle our mental instability when playing another good team. The aerodynamic Javelin for example.
I am disappointed but after having watched them lose so many finals i sort have stopped carrying and completely lowered my expectations for any Wellington team, which is a terrible place to be.
Anyhow I digress, most of you don't care and and I am soon to join you. Because the lions and hurricanes have been the biggest teases know to man.
It would be far better if they could just be mediocre like the Phoenix so at least when they get a point out of a fixture I am happy.
Rather than playing well all they way through the season and them limping through the playoffs. One might be tempted to say I am being a bit hard on them, but get stuffed. I have been through enough upsets and thrashings to just say, stuff you.
But next season they will play well again and give me more false hope. Now that I think about it, since I started supporting Rugby as a sport at the advent of the Super 12 it really hasn't given me much joy at all. I have followed the Hurricanes (bar semi final win of Warratahs 2006) be on and off as have the Lions (bar victory in 200) and the flipping All Blacks (bar finally getting the bledisloe back - whatever year that was) all blow out when I needed them.
So that is 3 Satisfying 80 minutes in 11 years. Rugby just isn't working out. It's a pity Hockey is for fags and is so hard to follow on TV. Otherwise id be in there.
Its a bit of horse and cart with these minority sports. they need money to get better to compete at a watchable level. But to get money they have to be good. It's shame so much is poured into Rugby by the corporates at the expense of other sports.
Until then hockey needs more blood and biffo and Mandy Smith to come out of Retirement. Otherwise it is destined to be insignificant.
I need a hug.
I am disappointed but after having watched them lose so many finals i sort have stopped carrying and completely lowered my expectations for any Wellington team, which is a terrible place to be.
Anyhow I digress, most of you don't care and and I am soon to join you. Because the lions and hurricanes have been the biggest teases know to man.
It would be far better if they could just be mediocre like the Phoenix so at least when they get a point out of a fixture I am happy.
Rather than playing well all they way through the season and them limping through the playoffs. One might be tempted to say I am being a bit hard on them, but get stuffed. I have been through enough upsets and thrashings to just say, stuff you.
But next season they will play well again and give me more false hope. Now that I think about it, since I started supporting Rugby as a sport at the advent of the Super 12 it really hasn't given me much joy at all. I have followed the Hurricanes (bar semi final win of Warratahs 2006) be on and off as have the Lions (bar victory in 200) and the flipping All Blacks (bar finally getting the bledisloe back - whatever year that was) all blow out when I needed them.
So that is 3 Satisfying 80 minutes in 11 years. Rugby just isn't working out. It's a pity Hockey is for fags and is so hard to follow on TV. Otherwise id be in there.
Its a bit of horse and cart with these minority sports. they need money to get better to compete at a watchable level. But to get money they have to be good. It's shame so much is poured into Rugby by the corporates at the expense of other sports.
Until then hockey needs more blood and biffo and Mandy Smith to come out of Retirement. Otherwise it is destined to be insignificant.
I need a hug.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Jog like you mean it
What happened to me I hear you ask. Well a few main things have occurred to nip blog writing in the butt. Work - I got real busy. secondly I got engaged to the lovely Hannah and am now in wedding planning mode. thirdly I discovered settlers of Catan online.
I had few comments that people were keen for me to get a blog up. To be honest being a fairly sensitive bloke I become a bit demoralized in camp Had at the lack of comments and apparent interest but the few verbal 'come on sons' have brought me back to the keyboard again.
I have started getting my run on again. inspired by Nick Willis I thought maybe I should take the limelight of him a bit at the next Olympics by running in an event myself. So I thought that London is not too far away and given my present physical condition I better start making in roads.
Running in Shanghai is just average. I don't think I have passed so many people in all my runs in NZ put together than I do each weekday morning as I weave through the streets. Its just ridiculous. its a long distance agility run where you take to the Chinese like markers on an Annalise Coberger downhill slalom. Everyone glares at you hard out as you run past. Its this hard out intrigued glare, like they are watching a Martian trying to catch up to a school bus. its a good thing im not self conscious. For me its good training as I get use to running in front of the big crowds that will be there in London.
On my run this morning I came back via the trusty Anus and intestine Hospital. I heard a mega phone blaring as I ran past. I think they were announcing that they were doing a two for one special this week. So no excuses now. It also occurred to me that I will never eat from any mystery meat hot pot restaurants in a square mile of that place. Weirdly the Anus and Intestine Hospital has pictures on the font showing people in Surgery. receiving treatment from the trusty surgeon. I checked the picture and from the direction the persons feet was facing I was able to ascertain that this was just intestine surgery. Either that or the patient had a particularly bad case of the date in which case it would explain the predominant look of all the specialists who are grasping tools awkwardly in hand looking at one another like - what the heck is that?
I had few comments that people were keen for me to get a blog up. To be honest being a fairly sensitive bloke I become a bit demoralized in camp Had at the lack of comments and apparent interest but the few verbal 'come on sons' have brought me back to the keyboard again.
I have started getting my run on again. inspired by Nick Willis I thought maybe I should take the limelight of him a bit at the next Olympics by running in an event myself. So I thought that London is not too far away and given my present physical condition I better start making in roads.
Running in Shanghai is just average. I don't think I have passed so many people in all my runs in NZ put together than I do each weekday morning as I weave through the streets. Its just ridiculous. its a long distance agility run where you take to the Chinese like markers on an Annalise Coberger downhill slalom. Everyone glares at you hard out as you run past. Its this hard out intrigued glare, like they are watching a Martian trying to catch up to a school bus. its a good thing im not self conscious. For me its good training as I get use to running in front of the big crowds that will be there in London.
On my run this morning I came back via the trusty Anus and intestine Hospital. I heard a mega phone blaring as I ran past. I think they were announcing that they were doing a two for one special this week. So no excuses now. It also occurred to me that I will never eat from any mystery meat hot pot restaurants in a square mile of that place. Weirdly the Anus and Intestine Hospital has pictures on the font showing people in Surgery. receiving treatment from the trusty surgeon. I checked the picture and from the direction the persons feet was facing I was able to ascertain that this was just intestine surgery. Either that or the patient had a particularly bad case of the date in which case it would explain the predominant look of all the specialists who are grasping tools awkwardly in hand looking at one another like - what the heck is that?
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