Some pics

Cuba st, Shangahi

A cool place I discovered the other day where there are lots of little lanes, with little designer stores and cafes and about a million french people.

Nice and green

Once you are out of the downtown part most of the streets are lined with trees. So heading into spring things are starting to look pretty green.

 

  

Room with a view   The view from my accommodation down towards Puxi. I have    got a new apartment which I move in to tomorrow.

 

Take care of Tumble

This is my other most favorite sign in my apartment. Either I am doing it wrong or this is a euphemism I haven't got to the bottom of.  
Either way, it suggests even going to the bathroom is dangerous in Shanghai. 
Maybe I do need to cue to the Indian Jones theme song before I go.

Life on the street.

Great news, I saw the sun yesterday. It was the first time I have seen it here. I was surprised, that I was surprised to see it, and then I was happy. It was yellow….ish.

Speaking of yellow I pleased to announce that I have made a great discovery in the lavatory. There is a room at the back of the bathroom with a picture of a pipe on the door. I had always assumed it was a smoking room. However, on investigation this week I discovered it  was actually a couple of urinals hiding back there. I was surprised that I was surprised to see them and then I was happy. They were white…ish.  This really does deserve the Shanghai-five of the week, because, it means I don’t have to visit the Beelzebub’s bin of death every time nature calls.

Anyhow, enough of the business end, lets talk turkey. At least I think it's turkey.

When I mentioned to people that, I was moving to China there were a lot of comments about the food. 

Usually making light of the varieties of 'urban deer' I would have to eat. I currently have limited experience, because in an ironic twist, my lack of Chinese, has meant minimal Chinese. Don't worry I am not wasting away,  I am still fluent in the international language of Burger King. 

In these conversation, dog was by far the most prominently featured pet, in the ‘look whose coming for dinner’ banter. However, on my wanderings around the streets, I have noticed to the contrary, that you actually don't see many dogs running around on the street at all..... hang on a second, I think I see what's going on here.

As a matter of fact, you don't see many children either. But, I am not for a moment, suggesting there is a link there too.

Well I probably should go home to bed. I have a voiceover to do in the morning and a client preso in the arvo. wish me luck. This weekend will be 'finalise my apartment' weekend so wish me luck for that too.

Thanks for the posts. great to get the feedback. I hope it was slightly more reader friendly. I am happy to receive any questions or requests. 

This pic is the view from my office window (taken with the webcam on my mac). My proper camera is good to go so expect good pics soon. Stay tuned for the first edition of 'what the heck is going on here'.

one week already

I have just ticked over my first week in Shanghai. It has been pretty tough going to be honest. I really should have paid more attention when buying fireworks at Mr Chans growing up. a couple of words would make a big difference.

I am glad to announce that today I caught my cab to work by saying the names of the roads in Chinese. and I actually got to go where I wanted. Good times.
I had almost lost faith the night before .My driver refused to go down the road that I thought would take us to where I wanted to go. I decided that he wasn't picking up what I was putting down so I paid the fare and got out. As I walked down said street I realised that he was justified in not turning down it, given it was one way.

Enough about taxi's, today I would like to talk about smells. The nose has certainly been left behind in web 2.0. As you are unable to experience the rich aromas of Asia I will do my best to bring them to you.

When you walk down the streets here you frequently find yourself so overwhelmed with a smell so powerful and horrendous you suddenly loose your will to live.
Still half in shock, the curisoutiy often gets the better of me. I will stop in my tracks and try and snoop out where the smells is coming from . I turn half expecting to see someone heating a recently filled nappy on a gas cooker. But in some kind of Chinese joke, us white guys don't get, I have never found the source.

The other day down at the water front I had to check my nose was still attached such was fourosity with which I was struck with the poo bat.

You would hope that your own work place would be a safe haven. Unfortunately it is one of the worst offenders.Weirdly we have unisex bathrooms at work. You are unable to flush anything other than the natural. So the little rubbish bin next to the toilet gets all the paper and ladies things all days. It is not ideal to say the least. you really need to visit in the morning or not at all. For those keeping tally I can report that the Chinese are folders's and scrunching does not seem to be that prevalent here at all.

I can't wait to get my camera going to bring to you all the Chenglish signs. some of them are classic. There is a plastic surgeon just down the road from me called - Newface.
The stove in my apartment has a warning - "take care of scald" I am not sure about you, but I would be warning people to not burn themselves in the first place.

Please feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of my blog. Please ask me to tone it down or up. and feel free to ask any questions you would like answered about life here.

can someone please tell me where commas are supposed to go?

Take care.
Had

Taxi!

My apologies for the slowness of post number two. I gather that to increase the fan base you need to keep it consistent. This is certainly not one of my virtues but my character is a canvas that can be repainted, so sweet as. I also need to not include terms in my blog which are a bit sensitive as the powers that be blocked my blog here until I changed enough of the naughty words, like freedom of speech and stuff.

The one thing I suspect will continue to come up in my blog entries is the driving here. Every morning I get a taxi to work.
After 4 morning journeys to work in a cab I can pretty much see how this is going to unfold for the next 6 months (or at least until I can speak a word of Mandarin)

Securing a taxi in the morning is pretty easy. you only need one working arm for that. However, once in the cab the mystery begins.

Me and Jo Cab driver go through this crazy ritual each morning. I start by saying ni hao. Even though saying hi is a polite way to start it only invites them to start speaking mandarin back which is about as productive as trying to get adult water melons to create off spring by humping.
So I look at him blankly for a while, long enough to suggest I have no idea what he said but not too long as to give him the impression I am about to lean in for some romance (a difficult balance to strike).

I then take out a map and firstly try and figure out where I want to go and then try and convince him that I know where I want to go.

Now the bugger is that each dude takes a different route so I still don’t really know where I work or where I live. So I feel a bit like that guy in momento and each morning I need to start from scratch. The good thing is though that this morning slalom to work has completely eroded the need for a morning wake me up coffee.


The crazy thing is that even though I don’t if he knows where I actually want to go. I trust this man each day more than I have trusted anyone in my life because for the next 10 minutes his decisions at intersections will be life or death for us both.

From my observation spot in the passenger seat I have made the following observations of their road code:
I am about 70 percent certain that they drive on the right said of the road, All the two lane streets have about eight lanes of traffic in both directions, and the most important rule is everyone else can get stuffed.


I have certainly gained a new level of respect for Asian drivers. In their own environment these souls are some of the bravest, nerves of steel, mercenaries this planet has got. When Darth Vader rebuilds that Deathstar ( and he will). The Jedi will be going Straight to the Shanghai taxi association to build its squadron of fighter pilots.

Early Observations

Well after months of anticipation and speculation I have finally arrived in China's commercial hub.

The 13 1/2 hour flight went pretty quickly thanks to the double upgrade into business class. That flat bed gave me a good solid 7 hours sleep which definitely makes the trip more doable. I had the courtesy near the end of the flight to pay a walking visit to my brethren in economy class. It really is like catch the No. 10 Newtown Park bus all the way in China back there. poor buggers. (I of course will join them on my return journey now my upgrade perks are all used up)

The immigration/customs process was fantastic. It didn't have the gestapo immigration of LAX or the rubber glove of MAF AKLD so I was in and out in about 5 mins. When it came to filling out my immigration form I unfortunately forgot to make note of the address I would be staying at. Luckily on the flight they gave out complimentary copies of the Shanghai Daily. Courtesy of the classifieds section as far as the Chinese beehive is concerned I am living at a massage parlour in downtown Shanghai for the next two months.

After an hour and a half taxi (TIP: never arrive in a city during morning rush hour) I was at my abode, a 30 story serviced apartment building not far from Jing'an Temple in the middle of the French Concession. After un-packing I set off for a self-directed walking tour of Shanghai.

Shanghai is said to have around 20 million residents. As I walked around the bustling city I took my own census. I counted about 12, although admittedly there may have been some double ups.

The traffic lights here are the most ornamental I have came across in my travels. All these red, amber, and green decorations do is change colour. Drivers here scarcely stop to ponder their meaning. Hence crossing the roads here is dangerous as declaring war on the Sparta armed with a toothpick.
No one gives way to anything here. Turning traffic at intersections honk loudly as they barge their way through pedestrians crossing on the green mans invitation.
I saw my life flash before me the first two times I tried to cross the street. After that I fervently sought out Chinaman insurance. It is a bit like crossing the street as a child on school trip. Except you don't just walk up to someone and hold their hand. When you get to a road you would like to cross, you just stand on the right hand side (the direction from which the traffic is coming) of one of the locals, who unknown to them as just opted in to be your human shield.
You just stand with them and when they thinks it is a good idea to cross you go with it. You do need a little bit of common sense, if you are with a pack of people, then majority rules and you don't just stray out there with a lone ranger. This etiquette saw me me in good stead for the rest of the day.
Chinaman Insurance - don't leave the curb without it.

On the busy intersections there are hired hands. Nice men wearing vests and white gloves who conduct the pedestrians across the street. He tells cars to back-up when they have stopped too closely to the crossing. motorbikes to stop jumping the gun and pointlessly yells at people speeding through red lights. It seams a bit strange that peoples will to live has been farmed out to this whistle yielding bloke. This man's main task is helping pedestrians to not die. He just reminds people of the basics like; on the road is where the fast cars go, and you'll have a better chance of getting to where you are going if you are not dead.

I know for certain now that the proverbial chicken that crossed the road was definitely not a Chinese Chicken. Otherwise that joke with always end with, I guess we will never know. (unless you believe in the after-life for our feathered friends)


Well that is my summation of day one. I am about to give supermarket shopping a go. Lets hope it proves to be far more productive than than me buying bananas off street vendors.